Worst Wedding Ever
Updated: Aug 5, 2020
Today was supposed to be your wedding day and instead, you’re somewhere off in the mountains with the man you were going to marry tonight – but will still marry some day soon! – while Jacob and I watch your pets and your house and watch TV and eat popcorn – diet popcorn for me, lame, I know. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to have to postpone your wedding due to COVID-19.
I don’t know how you feel and I’m not going to pretend I do, but if there’s one thing I can say is, I’m sorry. I know I don’t need to say that, it’s not my fault, but it’s also not your fault either, and in the end it’s all going to be all right. Think about it – your decision to postpone your wedding until it’s safer to have it is actually lifesaving! And who wants their wedding photos to have people wearing masks in them? Uh…I know I don’t! And I know I’m selfish but in the grand scheme of things, you made a very selfless decision and I applaud you for it.
You are still going to marry the love of your life (what a fortunate guy!) and you’re still going to live happily ever after! Just because your wedding is a little later than planned, it doesn’t mean anything changes. You’re still the most beautiful bride to be and he is still the luckiest guy in the world to get to marry you.
I wish you nothing but the best for whenever that wedding of yours actually happens, and when that does, please have plenty of tissues ready because watching my best friend marry the love of her life is going to make me cry so much, like ugly cry, mocos and all, that you might need to make sure Jimmy has the speakers on the loudest they can be so my sobbing goes slightly unnoticed.
My text to the bride...
Her clever reply...
I love you. Happy Wedding Day!
Sorry Jacob and I were the only ones who showed up tonight…We had fun though, if that makes a difference? Ha!